At times, we all need to talk about certain issues and problems that are affecting us. Whether we feel we have an embarrassing medical condition, trying to overcome an addiction or a relationship with our partner that is causing family commotion, Aunty Ji is here to advise you. Whether or not you take my advice on board, I will advise you as to the best of my knowledge and life experience. All letters sent in will remain totally anonymous and I will try to answer as many as I can. Aunty Jee is here for you!
I understand your dilemma well and I applaud you for your desire to keep the passion alive in your marriage even after 20 years. Firstly, I would say that it is never too late to for passion in a marriage, even though it may not be that of a 20-Something year old, create new passions. I would say that if it is what you want to do, by all means. However, I would advise that you test the waters, maybe try for a blonde sombre look first? This way if you like the look you can then go full blonde, and you’ll give your husband less of a shock too!
It is clear to see that this is your passion, and no one can divert you away from that, nor should they. It is a difficult career to pursue and it has many obstacles. I would say that you should sit down with your parents and explain to them why this means so much to you. I am sure they will understand beta. I do not think it is a matter of convincing, but more a matter of helping them understand. Maybe show them some of your songs and show them that you are good. I would also suggest that you speak to them about a backup plan, so they know that you have fully thought about all the possibilities and that you are prepared.
As always, good luck beta.
Beti, my advice is this. You do not want to ruin your relationship with your sister over this guy.
If I was you, I would sit down with my sister and explain what has been said to you. It is unfair to your sister that this is being hidden from her. It is your job to protect your sister from people like this, and I understand that you have feelings for this boy, but would you want to sabotage your relationship with your twin over this?
I really do hope that you do the right thing beti.
My honest advice would be to keep training, and slowly let your dad know how much this means to you, and how big this dream is. It is clear to see that this is your passion, and no one can tell you to let go of your passion. Not only that, but no one can make you marry against your will.
Keep studying and show your father that you can train and study. Hopefully he will begin to understand that you will do anything to achieve your dreams betah.
Stay strong, and keep trying your very hardest.
Beti, It will be difficult, if not impossible to confirm your suspicions, so do not tell him about those. However, instead slowly try and let your husband know that the change in his behaviour is upsetting you. Tell him gently, so he doesn’t feel like he is being attacked.
If possible, take him out for a meal, or a movie. Let him know how much you love him, and how much his change has upset you. Try to remind him why you faced those initial problems, and why you overcame them together to get married.
Combat those suspicions, and don’t let them affect your feelings and your attitude towards your husband. If his family are trying to turn him against you, remind him why he is with you.