Wednesday, August 23, 2017
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anger

OFF THE WALL… PAUL

imagesALB792VDIt’s fast approaching that time of year again. The time of year when we all begin to think of something bad to give up or change in the New Year. There are always a few obvious ones, smoking, drinking, losing weight, etc… Losing Weight!! Yes that’s the one, that’s the subject of this festive rant. Where do I start??

Let’s see if you have a heard a few of these before!

It’s my glands… It’s in my genes… it’s my slow metabolism… I sit at a desk all day!! Err, sorry to burst your bubble but it’s none of the aforementioned. The answer is simple. You eat too much and you don’t move enough!!

For years now, thousands of experts, companies, and governments have tried to convince you it’s not your fault. People have made millions out of new-fangled diets and books and the like. But let’s dismiss all that in a simple mathematical equation shall we?

The average man requires 2500 calories a day to maintain a healthy weight. (I’ll use men as an example as the maths are the same for women, just slightly smaller amounts) 50% of men in the UK eat in excess of 3000. This 500 calories a day excess, adds up to 3500 per week. 3000 calories equates to 1 pound of weight. Eat like this constantly over months and years and surprise surprise – you’ll be a big lad before long!

But not to worry, January is here so let’s join a gym. This is the next big lie! Again let’s do some maths. Let’s take a food product we all know and love. One of the nation’s favourite snacks; a packet of crisps. Calorie content is approximately 150. Just this one pack will mean you need to spend 25 minutes on a treadmill just to burn the little snack away. Answer, don’t eat the crisps! I can’t prove it but I suggest that joining a gym to lose weight for a lot of people is a false economy because they have been to a gym and worked out pretty hard, this then somehow leads them to believe its ok to have a full pizza when they get home. That’s two hours on a treadmill pal!!

So to end this festive rant I need to send out a few home truths!

  1. If you want to lose weight, first and foremost it’s going to require discipline.
  2. It’s going to hurt.
  3. You will feel hungry (only for the first few weeks once you get used to it).
  4. And yes that little snack in the middle of the morning and afternoon does make a difference!

One last thing – There is no such thing as obesity. It’s not a condition like cancer or the flu virus. The one thing you are is FAT! Yes I’ll say it again, F-A-T! I think if more doctors, once they took a good look at a FAT person in their surgery, told them they were FAT, this may shame them somewhat. It’s a bit like not wearing a seat belt or drink driving has become a social stigma.

Being FAT kills! The same as smoking, but we don’t have a FAT tax do we. Having half the population FAT means £Billions of cost to the NHS, we now spend a lot more on Type 2 Diabetes than we do on smoking related conditions and yet we have no government duty on pies do we!

If you are trying to lose weight in 2015, well good luck to you, but the points above are the hard hitting truth. It’s like most things in life. To achieve something in life, there always has to be sacrifices… don’t let anyone tell you any different.

A Happy and slim New Year my friends!

Yours sincerely,

Paul

imagesALB792VDOFF THE WALL PAUL

Paul is your average chap from Bradford. He has worked all his life, paid his taxes and minds his own business. He is just your average bloke getting on with his life. As much as Paul is good-natured and overall a happy chappy, there are certain days when some people push the wrong button and he becomes a different person altogether. Here, you can read Paul’s monthly frustrations where he explodes and rants about everything and anything, resulting in him going slightly off the wall.

“About 3 to 4 years ago whilst driving to work I began to notice something quite odd, no actually, very annoying! At first I thought it was just me over reacting in a Victor Meldrew type of way and dismissed it as just being witness to one of those events involving a rude and ignorant individual that temporarily angers you, but you’re soon over it. However over the coming weeks I discovered it was not a one off, every other driver appeared to be acting in the same manner. It happened when I offered to let someone enter the flow of traffic whilst pulling out at a junction – a simple act of kindness and respect towards fellow motorists.

Have you guessed what I’m banging on about yet? If you drive most days like myself, I bet you do! A ‘tenner’ of my hard earned cash says you have most likely been on the receiving end in the last week alone.

Here we go then, here’s my wrath!

Not a sign of a thank you. Absolutely nothing! Not even an arm raised in front of the rear view mirror to say thanks for that mate. If you’re lucky you may have received a brief ‘hazard light’ flicker to sort of say ‘ta fella’, as if raising your left arm for 2.5 seconds is infinitely harder than reaching for your dashboard to turn on your hazard lights and then turn them off again. Or is it not just physical effort but simply an act of saying you know what, I’m not bothered about anyone else but me. I’m only interested in me and my day and where I’m going. A bit like sending a text to your best mate because you couldn’t be ar*** to speak to him or her. If at this point you are starting to curl your toes in your shoes because you know you are guilty of this yourself, then good, because you should be totally ashamed!

I want to point out that this is not a local issue as it happens all over the country. So a campaign needs to be launched and I think we should get it started right here in Bradford. The next time someone lets you out at a junction, let’s give them a right proper ‘cheers pal!’ Hold your hand up proud and strong and perhaps even a little upward movement of your thumb wouldn’t go amiss.

This is important because we’re Yorkshire for God’s sake. WE are supposed to be the salt of the earth, kind and warm-hearted folk. Not some cold shouldered individual from the Home Counties who would sell his own grandmother to help him upgrade to a new 3 series.

So come on now, make a difference. Let’s all be more Yorkshire!”

Yours sincerely, Paul

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