Like everybody, I like a bit of a moan. In fact my partner says that I’m turning more and more into Victor Meldrew everyday. Not that this is a bad thing. Well not to me anyway. But maybe because I now feel that I have one foot in the grave, so to speak, I guess I have the right to moan at and rant about subjects that really get under my skin.
Not that I moan about everything but there are just some things that irritate the hell out of me more than others. Take for instance the rubbish parking I come across everyday on our streets. This rant is not about the everyday parking, where people respect others and abide by the laws and common sense and respect when parking. Because this type of parking serves the needs of the community we live in and those that use the road. No, it’s the stupid parking that really winds me up. The selfish, egotistical idiots who believe that that it is there right, no, there duty, to park wherever and whenever they want and not give care for anybody else.
So who are these stupid individuals, these confused souls who cause misery for pedestrians and other road users and make me really want to rant? Who are these ignorant imbeciles whose sole aim in life is bring about as much disruption and chaos as is humanly possible in a car? And what is it about their parking that gets my goat?
I thought that I would come out with my all time top 5 of parking offences, (I use the term ‘offence’ because I think it’s criminal) that cause me the most outrage and really peeve me off.
Number 1) The double parker. This is the idiot that thinks its ok to park in the middle of the road and have a full blown discussion with his mate through the car window. The selfish idiot! This driver actually feels affronted when you beep your horn for them to move, like it’s your fault you actually came out in your car that day and had the audacity to be in the car behind them when they decided they needed to stop and have a prolonged discussion with their mate. Idiots.
Number 2) The mother and baby parkers. When it says “Parking for mother and toddler”, it means “Parking for mother and toddler”. It does not say, “Parking for single adults with no children” it does not say “Parking for older couples without a child in sight”. No, read it correctly and you will understand that, if you do not have in your possession, a child, do not park there.
Number 3) Those without a disability who park in a disabled spot. These idiots park in the disabled spaces and are clearly not disabled. In fact, they are so not disabled; they manage the walk from the car to the shop without an aid to assist them. Maybe, they have such a disability that only affects them when they are in the confines of there own home. Maybe they take the magic anti disability pill that turns them into able bodied citizens. Or maybe, just maybe, they’re lazy individuals who don’t give a damn about inconveniencing those with a disability and can’t be arsed walking the extra twenty yards from the car to their destination.
Number 4) The pavement parker. These idiots have no idea when the road ends and the pavement begins. They’re like, “oh, that paved area must obviously be part of the road”. Why would they care that someone with a disability, a mother with a buggy or a child on its own, should have to circumnavigate their car and walk into the road to avoid their car, whilst running the risk of being knocked down? Do these drivers think that the aforementioned have the ability to sprout wings and fly over their car? No, and neither do I.
Number 5) The ‘I’m going to park my car so close to you in this car park there is no way you’re going to get back into your cars driving seat’. Having to clamber over the passenger seat when you are (slightly) overweight and arthritic in both knees is no fun, let me tell you. ‘Performing contortionist’ is not something I would be happy with entering on my CV. With these idiots, don’t you just want to leave a message saying, “This is just a note to say thank you for parking so close to my car. Next time, please leave me a tin opener so I can get into my car and leave the car park”.
My rant is done and I truly hope that I have expressed my feelings on these inconsiderate, turd stained low-lives who blight not only my life, but the lives of those who have some modicum of respect for those who drive and those who don’t.
Yours truly, Ranting Roger